ANYBODY NEED EMPTY HANGERS?

OK, Muri, economy of creativity can be pushed only so far.  We’re down to singlets now.  Because I am not a clothes-horse like you, I was a little distressed by this prompt:

12.  Write a list poem about clothes.

My closet is mostly empty.  I cannot imagine owning 87 jackets.  Heck, I can’t even imagine owning 87 pairs of very sensible underwear.  If I was to write a list poem about clothing I have loved, it would be very short:

Wide t-shirts
Sweatpants
The End

So, how about a list of clothing I have hated?  I’ve been hating clothing for a long time, so that would give me plenty of material to work with. I’m also channeling Dr. Seuss, so maybe that earns me a bonus point…

CLOTHING I HAVE HATED

Any kind of uniform
Shoes that pinch my toes
Slimy polyester tops
Tights and pantyhose

Midriff sweaters, button-flys
Stripes that go sideways
Anything “bedazzled”
Or from my sewing phase

Clingy t-shirts, dowdy skorts
Spandex undergarments
Pants without elastic waists
Jackets with faux pockets

Items knit from itchy wool
Ugly bridesmaid gowns
Things that have to be dry-cleaned
Or add ten extra pounds

With all the clothing I despise,
I wonder, honestly,
if I should chuck it all and join
a nudist colony

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15 thoughts on “ANYBODY NEED EMPTY HANGERS?

  1. pranabaxom April 26, 2019 / 12:42 am

    😂😂😂I was somehow expecting the last line and was not disappointed.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan April 26, 2019 / 8:43 am

      Oddly enough, PB, I expected this poem to end with a view of my half-empty closet but the Muse had a different idea and I liked hers better. In reality, I’m quite happy with my sweatpants and t-shirts. 🙂

      Like

      • pranabaxom April 26, 2019 / 9:43 am

        You mean to say you don’t like your body enough😂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. judyrutrider April 26, 2019 / 12:44 am

    An acquaintance, giving me a tour of her new granny flat, opened a closet revealing about 50 blouses, of similar style, all in bright, small prints. Never having been fond of small prints, I now view her in a different light. You, on the other hand, are completely pragmatic and have secured your place among the trustworthy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan April 26, 2019 / 8:54 am

      Oh my, Judy! I had a similar experience in a friend’s walk-in closet. She had dozens of similar outfits, flowery dresses, hundreds of pairs of footwear, even one of those steam machines that get wrinkles out of stuff. I knew right then she and I lived in two different worlds. There is value in pragmatism, I save money and never agonize over what to wear. 🙂

      Like

  3. churchmousie April 26, 2019 / 6:54 am

    I would live just as simply with my wardrobe if I wasn’t responsible for dressing for an office (casually) and church. Comfort is more important than appearance! I will admit to liking things bedazzled but we share the same offended disdain for “faux pockets”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan April 26, 2019 / 9:07 am

      Comfort is definitely more important than appearance, Church Mousie, I’ve always believed that. My mom used to say my childhood motto was “Comfort First!” No bedazzling for me, it doesn’t really go with sweatpants. I love real pockets and feel cheated by fake ones, can’t understand why designers do that. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Tippy Gnu April 26, 2019 / 7:40 am

    I’m with you. I own one suit, which is reserved for weddings and funerals. I prefer to dress for comfort rather than show. I don’t like clothes, either, and if my wife didn’t keep the house so cold I’m sure I’d be a nudist. But maybe that’s why she keeps it so cold.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan April 26, 2019 / 9:17 am

      Guys have it so easy, Tippy. One all-purpose suit, one wide tie, one skinny tie, one pair of wingtips, and you’re prepared for any occasion. Women have to worry about changing styles, what’s appropriate to the season, matching their shoes and handbags, blah, blah, blah. It seems that a cold house has perks beyond just saving money on the heating bill. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  5. murisopsis April 26, 2019 / 10:56 pm

    Love Love LOVE the poem! I do think that you can count it for both the prompts – clothes list poem and channeling the doctor… Comfort is very important but there is no rule that says style can’t be comfortable. I’m a fan of LuLaRoe for combining both… Of course I get mine at Goodwill instead of paying full price!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Just Joan April 27, 2019 / 8:47 am

      Glad you enjoyed it, Muri. I have not made LuLaRoe’s acquaintance. I might seek her out if I cared at all about style, but looking put-together isn’t necessary in my daily life anymore. I can shop for groceries and get the mail in sweats. I have one special outfit that suffices for funerals and poetry readings. 🙂

      Like

  6. circumstance227 April 30, 2019 / 3:18 pm

    Your list is perfect – I especially had to laugh at “anything from my sewing phase”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan April 30, 2019 / 4:27 pm

      Thanks, 227, glad you agree. I had a pretty hardcore sewing phase in the 90’s; we have a photo somewhere of me and my hubby at his 10-year high school reunion wearing my creations. Remind me to burn that, and any other evidence of said sewing phase. 🙂

      Like

  7. Quirky Girl May 2, 2019 / 6:52 pm

    What’s wrong with a bit of bedazzle? Life is better with with sparkle. Granted, maybe not quite the level of sparkle attained from the typical excessively bedazzled monstrosities…but nudist colonies sound so painfully unsparkly by comparison. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan May 3, 2019 / 12:59 pm

      I’m sparkly enough, what with silvering hair and a mouthful of shiny fillings. And sometimes bright red toenails. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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