HOLY GORGONZOLA!

I have a major weakness for cheese, one
which led to this rich, creamy parody of
Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s Sonnet 43.

HOW DO I LOVE CHEESE?

How do I love cheese? Let me count the ways
I love it grilled, American on white
Schmeared on an onion bagel, toasted light
In pecan cheeseballs served on holidays

Shingled with fresh fruit on party trays
Swirled in fondue pots by candlelight
I love it hard, aged cheddar with a bite
I love it soft, baked Brie with maple glaze

I love it cheesecaked, lemony and smooth
Blistered on a New York pizza slice
Macaronied into comfort food
Nachoed, patty-melted, batter-fried
If Death disguised himself as crab Rangoon
I’d take the bait and gladly pay the price

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15 thoughts on “HOLY GORGONZOLA!

  1. Tippy Gnu September 16, 2018 / 9:49 am

    Such a cheesy parody. I’ll bet it’s easy to get you to smile for a camera. I like cheese baked into a cracker.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan September 16, 2018 / 12:19 pm

      Thanks, Tippy. I figured a Cheez-It fanatic such as yourself would love this one. My favorite is apples and cheddar, or grilled cheese sandwiches. Actually, I hate smiling for cameras, and avoid them whenever possible. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan September 17, 2018 / 10:20 am

      Thanks, Snoozin. There’s nothing like cheese to make a person wax poetic. Except maybe coffee. Or avocados. 🙂

      Like

  2. murisopsis September 17, 2018 / 11:25 pm

    I gave up cheese several years ago to attempt to get my cholesterol under control. I dreamed of cheese. It was awful. I would salivate like Pavlov’s dog at the mere sight of cheese, in a magazine even. I’ve gone back to the cheese. There is nothing so delicious as a really creamy, nutty, aged Swiss unless you wave smoked Gouda under my nose! I love this poem (and cheese)!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan September 18, 2018 / 3:21 pm

      Give up cheese? Sacrilege, Muri! Glad you have rejoined the creamy, holey, nutty fold. Gouda is indeed nirvana. I’ve gotten lactose intolerant as I’ve gotten older, so I have to limit my dairy intake and use Lact-Aid, but cheese will always have a place at my table. 🙂

      Like

  3. L. T. Garvin, Author September 20, 2018 / 9:49 pm

    I’m a cheese fan too! The only one I don’t really care for is Swiss, but Mr. Monkey Pajamas loves it. I think you’ve summed up a cheese addiction very nicely, Joan. Now, I’m hungry. I could definitely go with the cheesecake, lemony and smooth! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan September 21, 2018 / 3:49 pm

      Hey, Lana. Welcome to Club Cheese! Extend an invite to Mr. Monkey Pajamas. I’m hungry, too. I could go for Chinese delivery–munching on some crab Rangoon in MY pajamas. Enjoy the weekend! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. judyrutrider September 27, 2018 / 11:41 pm

    What? You couldn’t come up with a rhyme for “cheese enchilada”? Me neither.
    As a vegetarian, cheese is a mainstay in my diet. I’d love to go vegan but the thought of giving up dairy is just too depressing. I’d rather give up coffee or red wine.Thanks for luring me to your site with your comment.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan September 28, 2018 / 10:12 am

      Thanks, Judy! I have found some great blogs the same way. I have vegan family members (aunts) who tell me “cheeses” made from soy milk, almond milk, or other alternatives are just as good. Ummmm, nope. I’d be OK with giving up wine (except a little in my cooking) but coffee is sacred. No can do. I’m a fan of http://www.rhymezone.com, a site that offers both pure and oblique rhymes such as: tostada, empanada, pasta, falafel, moussaka, avocado, and marijuana. Come back anytime. 🙂

      Like

  5. circumstance227 February 23, 2019 / 4:19 pm

    As a Wisconsinite, it is my privilege to officially confer on you the title of “Honorary Cheesehead”. Congratulations!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan February 23, 2019 / 4:52 pm

      After years of wanton cheese enjoyment, I have been stricken with lactose intolerance. What a nightmare! I buy super-size bottles of LactAid tablets on Amazon.com. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • circumstance227 February 23, 2019 / 4:59 pm

        That really is a nightmare. I don’t know how I would survive without cheese. Maybe you could try that Cheesewhiz stuff – I am fairly sure there are no natural ingredients in it.

        Liked by 1 person

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