TYGERS AND BOOGERS, OH MY!

I was cleaning out my Word files this week and I found a booger.  Well, not a literal one, but a poem about one I started and never finished.  It was back in the winter when my obsession with a particularly stubborn nasal stowaway apparently crisscrossed with my parody-writing phase.  With my sincerest apologies to William Blake for (again!*) desecrating his masterpiece, Tyger Tyger, I present:

BOOGER, BOOGER

Booger, Booger, hanging tight,
whistling in my nose all night
What mere mortal strategy
could challenge thy tenacity?

Beneath what distant septal shelf
dare thee to affix thyself,
clinging like a stalactite
although I blow with all my might?

In what winding turbinate
dost thou manage to evade
random gusts of high-speed breeze
generated when I sneeze?

In what cranny, high and dry
liest thou in smug safety
above the wet and wild onslaught
of saline from my Neti pot?

When the gauntlet I threw down
and probed my finger all around
How didst thou wriggle or retreat
and deftly outmaneuver it?

Booger, Booger, hanging tight,
to thee I shall concede the fight
for what mere mortal strategy
could challenge thy tenacity?

*My first parody was entitled LEGOS, LEGOS

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20 thoughts on “TYGERS AND BOOGERS, OH MY!

    • Just Joan September 9, 2018 / 9:21 pm

      For sure, PB! But a (wo)man has got to do what a (wo)man has got to do. 🙂

      Like

  1. Tippy Gnu September 9, 2018 / 9:21 am

    I think someone should invent a vacuum cleaner attachment to deal with boogers like that. But I hope everything eventually came out okay.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan September 9, 2018 / 9:27 pm

      It did, Tippy. Eventually. I like the vacuum attachment idea… why didn’t I think of that? I have a small vacuum-adaptable tool (designed to clean the tiny crevices in a computer keyboard) that would fit perfectly in a nostril. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. murisopsis September 9, 2018 / 9:31 am

    HAHAHA! This is wonderfully wrought~ you made me laugh. Thanks – I needed to have a good chuckle!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan September 9, 2018 / 9:35 pm

      Thanks, Muri, a lovely compliment coming from you. I enjoy writing parodies and am putting together a (chap?)book of them. If you can laugh, all is momentarily right with the world. 🙂

      Like

  3. Peter Klopp September 9, 2018 / 10:17 am

    Joan, I guess with your talented poetry you can turn any topic into a beautiful story, even a stubborn resident in your nasal passages. Haha!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan September 9, 2018 / 9:44 pm

      Thanks, Peter. I think the best poems are interesting perspectives on ordinary, everyday things. I have won over many people who claim to “hate” poetry with stuff like this. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan September 10, 2018 / 11:23 am

      Thanks, Snoozin. I try never to look at boogers, if I can help it. Into a Kleenex, into the trash, buh-bye. 🙂

      Like

  4. L. T. Garvin, Author September 10, 2018 / 9:51 pm

    Those stubborn boogers, lol! I’ll admit that I’ve not quite thought about it in that detail, but you have some fine points. They are tenacious little things! Thanks for a humorous take on that dreary state of stuffy noses (yeesh, that season is almost upon us!). Thanks for the laugh also, Joan!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan September 11, 2018 / 12:10 pm

      Thanks, Lana. Those “little green men” find some elusive hiding places in our nasal cavities. Here’s hoping sinus season is kind to you and you won’t need the vacuum cleaner attachment Tippy mentioned to evict them. 🙂

      Like

  5. judyrutrider November 25, 2018 / 11:54 am

    Oh, my Dog! You’ve taken “accessible” to new heights. And even while it entertained, it expanded my vocabulary (turbinate).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan November 25, 2018 / 12:38 pm

      Glad you enjoyed it, Judy. My sinuses are my nemesis in winter. Taking Sudafed dries everything out, turns regular boogers into SuperBoogers. It was only a matter of time before the Muses used them as fodder for a poem. I think of simple, funny rhymes as an on-ramp to the poetry highway. People have to get ON before they can discover what’s out there. Folks who say Shakespeare is too hard, with all his “thees” and “thous” have no trouble figuring this one out, even though it’s written in the same style of Olde English. 🙂

      Like

  6. circumstance227 February 23, 2019 / 4:13 pm

    42, you make me laugh! I bet this is the first time in history that a booger is addressed with a “thou”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan February 23, 2019 / 4:50 pm

      This is another stylistic impression of William Blake’s Tyger Tyger, hence the fancy language. It is a really fun performance piece if I can keep a straight face. 🙂

      Like

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