FELINE ONLINE, WINTER QUARTER

During those long winter nights when it is too cold for an outdoor cat to go out, how does he entertain himself?  Scratching in his litterbox and wondering why his poo smells powder-fresh, and how it magically disappears?  Gnawing through the package his favorite treats come in?  Watching the bathtub faucet drip?  All that and more, it seems.  I used to wonder who was messing with my computer.  Now, I think I know:

NIGHT SCHOOL

The mouse is askew,
the icons paw-sized, again
But this time, he’s left a trail,
having forgotten to wipe
his browsing history:

PHYSICAL SKILLS
High Jump I – Counters
High Jump II – Refrigerator
Sneak Attacks
Shedding on Demand

HAZARD AVOIDANCE
Baths and Water
Vacuum Cleaners
The Crate Escape
Pills and Vet Visits

LANGUAGE SKILLS
Nuances of Meow
Hissing and Yowling
Body Language
Advanced Ignoring

OUTDOOR SKILLS
Camouflage
Birding and Mousing
Skunk: Friend or Foe?
Traffic Smarts

CAT BURGLAR
Computer Settings
Cupboards and Closets
Faucets and Doorknobs
Raiding the Dog Dish

JUST FOR FUN
Litter Tracking
Hacking up hairballs
Batting Electrical Cords
Let Me In, Let Me Out

It throws a brand new spin
on the nature v. nurture debate
but I am weirdly proud of him;
my clever cat,
just six credits from his Masters

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8 thoughts on “FELINE ONLINE, WINTER QUARTER

  1. chevvy8 April 29, 2018 / 1:08 pm

    On the face of it, I’d say that your cat is good at playing a game of cat and mouse. But knowing how smart you are, I can’t help but also read this in human terms and its relevance for online behaviour. An interesting puzzle to figure out. Now what would it take to earn the rest of the credits to mastery? 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan April 29, 2018 / 1:46 pm

      Thanks, Chevvy. The cat we had before Peaches was truly the computer master, and it was actually she that inspired this poem several years ago. With the plethora of online education, why not classes for cats? And what subjects would they want to study? This one was just for fun, although it may make a statement about covering your tracks if you don’t want your owners to know what you’re up to. I noticed once that items I’d clicked on turned purple, and ones I hadn’t stayed blue; that’s how I knew Peaches had six classes to go to complete his degree. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • chevvy8 April 29, 2018 / 2:24 pm

        It works both ways for me – the covering of tracks I mean. But yeah, anything is possible with technology. You had a whizz kid cat there.😀

        Liked by 1 person

  2. L. T. Garvin, Author May 4, 2018 / 2:32 pm

    I can picture said bored feline occupying his winter nights just this way. Everything a cat needs to know to be well rounded. There are so many good ones here that cat owners will recognize for sure, hairballs, the crate game, and of course, in and out, Lol! Love this one!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan May 5, 2018 / 11:38 am

      Thanks, Lana. What is it with cats and computers? Mine is an all-in-one with a big (and very sensitive!) touch-screen that is easily manipulated by paws, noses, tails… Peaches is an expert at “In and Out” and many of the others. A straight-A student. Here’s a pic of him at night:

      Liked by 1 person

  3. judyrutrider October 16, 2018 / 10:44 am

    My cat, Jet Lee, teaches one of those online classes. It’s called “Pouncing on anything that wiggles under the sheet”. It’s also offered as a course at the family planning clinic.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan October 16, 2018 / 11:22 am

      Full prof or adjunct? And OUCH! Jet Lee sounds fast and accurate… sterility might be just one wiggle away. 🙂

      Like

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