I’m into writing parodies, of late.  I read a classic poem and into the hopper it goes, where the Muses can do what they do best — muse.  Within a day or two, they toss out an idea.  I don’t know if it will work until I try it, thus my Word files are full of false starts.  Sometimes, the Muses fixate on a particular poem.  That’s what happened with Emily Dickinson’s Hope is the Thing with Feathers.  I have already composed three parodies of it; I’m ready to move on.  But another inspiration hit while I was taking a shower.  SOAP.  “Soap is the Thing that Lathers.”  Now, where is a poet supposed to go with that?  The BAR, of course!

Soap is the thing that lathers
into IVORY suds
whose soft CARESS conceals the ZEST
with which it captures crud

The BASIS of this clever trap
is an age-old recipe;
just simple chemistry

LUXurious or LAVA tough,
it reigns from COAST to COAST
Our SAFEGUARD in this dirty world,
the humble bar of soap

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12 thoughts on “WELL, KISS MY FACE!

    • Just Joan January 14, 2018 / 2:41 pm

      Thanks, Tippy. I try to keep my poems squeaky clean, at least the ones meant for public consumption. I’m guessing you’re an Irish Spring kind of guy, or maybe Dial? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Tippy Gnu January 14, 2018 / 4:13 pm

        Ivory. I love the smooth, silky feel, and refreshing cleanliness as the suds slide smartly off my sebaceous skin.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Just Joan January 14, 2018 / 5:41 pm

        A good choice, the commercials say it’s “​99 and 44⁄100 % Pure.” I’m a Caress Girl myself. It works well with our extremely hard water and rinses clean. I remember a high school science teacher asking the class if we knew what hard water was. One smart ass kid replied, “Ice!” 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Peter Klopp January 14, 2018 / 8:27 am

    A great poem full of satire! What a way to introduce all the soap related brands to the reader! Well done, Joan!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan January 14, 2018 / 2:59 pm

      Thanks, Peter. Our bars give us something to hang onto… in desperate times, at least we can still take a bath. Working in the names of the brands was a fun twist. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. chevvy8 January 14, 2018 / 10:53 am

    Joan, with that sharp mind of yours, I guess someone has to clean up their act and raise the bar. Not sure if soap is enough though!😀 I think I’d add to you alliteration of “C” the word congeal and cheer on the “Me too” campaign. Very clever and well done Joan!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan January 14, 2018 / 3:05 pm

      Thanks, Chevvy. A truckload of soap wouldn’t be enough to exorcise all the filth in our governmental swamp, let alone raise the bar, but we’ve got to start somewhere. Thank God for Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren and any other squeaky clean reps who can’t be bought with dirty money. Where there is integrity, there is hope. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • chevvy8 January 14, 2018 / 11:39 pm

        I suppose the soap is a symbolic representation of the clean up that needs to happen but our experience over the past year is that civil society and other organisations had to mobilise across all fronts. Hopefully the good guys will prevail at some point.😀

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Marissa Bergen January 14, 2018 / 2:32 pm

    I don’t know the original, which is to say, I write more poetry than I read…although I certainly read yours every week. It always puts a smile on my face and today is no exception!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just Joan January 14, 2018 / 3:20 pm

      Thanks, Marissa. One of my poetry teachers said I needed to read more of the classics, to get a feel for what has allowed them to stand the test of time. I find that I now “get” a lot of the poems that confounded me in high school… thirty additional years of life experience might have something to do with it. A side benefit is that it gives the Muses something to latch onto. That said, I’ll flesh out anything with good bones, from Psalms and Shakespeare to Dorothy Parker and Edgar Allan Poe. Glad it makes you smile. 🙂


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