Don’t you just hate it when a plan doesn’t come together?
THE IMPOSTER
A cousin bicycled home from the farm
with a watermelon atop her handlebars
Chilled on ice on that sweltering day,
the striped Green Giant was irresistible
We dove into the crisp, sugary wedges,
wearing the rinds like ear-to-ear smiles
Hungry for my sweet childhood memory,
I sowed a melon patch around the patio,
cheering as the little shoots broke ground
and morphed into massive, curly vines.
Leaves unfurled into a wide shady canopy,
shielding fragile blossoms from the sun
Just ONE tiny fruit emerged… Lavished
with water and attention, it matured into
a handsome celery-and-emerald specimen
Late in the summer, a thump on its flank
produced a deep, resonant vibration that
passed our homespun test for ripeness
That night, we dined at the picnic table,
char-grilled burgers and corn-on-the-cob,
while our dessert chilled on ice in the sink
Then (drum roll, please) we split it open,
only to encounter the pale orange flesh
of disappointment: an overgrown squash
Now, if you’re the type who loves it when a plan comes together, check out my favorite uplifting melon story, Fruits of Desire by Mike Madison.
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I imagine this unfortunate gardening incident has left you feeling melancholy.
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I babied that darn melon for three months, watched it grow, imagined how sweet and delicious it would be. I almost needed Prozac! 🙂
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I’ll bet! How disappointing.
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And watermelons are not what they used to be are they????
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A lot smaller now. Mostly seedless. (What fun is that?) Some good, some not so good. Never as sweet and juicy as the old memory. 🙂
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You are so so funny!
Ursula
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Thanks, Ursula. It seems funny now, but at the time, I could have cried.
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A squash, ha ha…now that’s a surprise. I’ve been playing Russian roulette with watermelons all summer 🙂
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Who knew squash could have the same size, shape, and stripes, right?
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I know, ha ha… it would still be ok with me, I’m a huge squash fan 🙂
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Oh man! Squash?? Just not what you would have in mind when you wanted a succulent fruit!
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Almost as disappointing as racing home from the market only to discover you left your ice cream behind. 🙂
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Tell me about it!
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What in the who hay? That’s awful.
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Hahaha… That must have been a huge disappointment! I loved the way it was written.. Beautiful description of memories, the anticipation, and finally finding out that it was just an impostor!
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Thanks for the comment and follow, Lunatic. Too funny. We were 100% convinced that beast was a watermelon, and so ready for that first sweet, crisp, juicy pink bite. 🙂
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