ANTIDOTE TO GLOBAL WARMING

Is it just me, or have others noticed that weird weather phenomena are becoming increasingly common?  When the garbage truck rolled into my neighborhood the week after Christmas, I threw on a windbreaker and sandals and dashed outside to heave-ho our overflowing bin to the curb.  Days of tepid, non-stop drizzle had turned our still-green lawn into a giant sponge that squish-squashed under my feet.  Kids whizzed down the street on skateboards during a season when they should be at the park, whizzing down the big sledding hill and breaking open steaming Thermoses of hot chocolate to warm up between runs.  The scene was surreal; it belonged in Florida, not the Ohio snowbelt.  And
I was not at all comforted by certain bigwigs in Washington DC and their assertions that global warming is a fallacy.  C’mon, are they blind?  Impervious to the weather?  Not subject to wearing a jacket or carrying an umbrella like the rest of us?  My 2016 resolution solidified at that moment:  I’d work on reducing my carbon footprint, beginning with producing less trash.  Meanwhile, a bit of advice for all those doubters in Congress:

WAKE UP AND SMELL THE EXHAUST FUMES

To those glib politicians
who deny climate change:
perhaps you’ve not noticed
the weather is strange?

‘Twas sixty on Christmas;
it’s now twenty-eight.
Last week we went fishing;
today, we’ll ice skate.

I’ve rattled my brains,
but can’t seem to remember
wool socks in July
and cook-outs in December.

I spy from my window
a lawn that needs mowing
at a time of the year
when it ought to be snowing.

I flip the remote
to our home Weather Channel
as I make up the beds:
Crisp cotton or flannel?

It’s also quite useful
when prepping for dinner:
Will I need the CrockPot
or the ol’ salad spinner?

For the winter vacation
we’ve planned at the lake:
Swimsuits or snowsuits?
Which gear should we take?

As the evidence mounts,
my mind screams “Holy Smokes!”
Seems to me global warming
is more than a hoax.

Greenhouse gasses exist;
they’re a potent game changer.
So save your hot air, folks,
don’t add to the danger.

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