The Cincinnati Reds wind down their season this week. I heard recently that you can no longer carry a purse into the stadium… unless it’s made of clear, see-through plastic. Yikes! Transparency may be a virtue, but I doubt that “Donna Saran” bags are ever gonna make a splash. And if they do, remember who bared all before it became trendy!
SECRET UNIVERSE OF THE PURSE
She who’s part Girl Scout, part writer, part nurse
Undoubtedly carries a sizable purse.
A tear-shaped Ameribag, a stout leather sack,
distributes the load so it won’t hurt her back.
Wonder what’s in there? Let’s sneak a quick look
at the items that fill every cranny and nook:
Keys to a Honda, a Beemer, an RV
Two flashlights, a tape measure, a ring rosary
Reward cards to scan at each market and shop
Some herbal throat spray and a battered cough drop
Pills for vertigo, colds, diarrhea, and pain
A golf-sized umbrella in case it should rain
A Timex sport watch with a digital face
Band-aids and lip balm, eyeglasses and case
Sunglasses too and a kit for repairs
With a tiny screwdriver and screws that are spares
Paired hearing aides with their power and tool
Six pens and a notebook for days spent in school
Date and address books, a stylish cell phone
And a huge leather wallet, a purse all its own
Full of photos and coupons, a few bucks in cash
Charge cards, IDs, and a free yoga pass
Digging deeper inside, there are items galore
I could likely keep going for two pages more
Or let mystery reign in the dark universe
Zippered away in the bowels of the purse
Just a thought: if you’re the type who enjoys psychoanalyzing folks
by looking at the items in their grocery cart, a Cinci Reds 2016 Season Pass could open up a whole new world for you!