The Cincinnati Reds wind down their season this week.  I heard recently that you can no longer carry a purse into the stadium… unless it’s made of clear, see-through plastic.  Yikes!  Transparency may be a virtue, but I doubt that “Donna Saran” bags are ever gonna make a splash.  And if they do, remember who bared all before it became trendy!


She who’s part Girl Scout, part writer, part nurse
Undoubtedly carries a sizable purse.

A tear-shaped Ameribag, a stout leather sack,
distributes the load so it won’t hurt her back.

Wonder what’s in there? Let’s sneak a quick look
at the items that fill every cranny and nook:

Keys to a Honda, a Beemer, an RV
Two flashlights, a tape measure, a ring rosary

Reward cards to scan at each market and shop
Some herbal throat spray and a battered cough drop

Pills for vertigo, colds, diarrhea, and pain
A golf-sized umbrella in case it should rain

A Timex sport watch with a digital face
Band-aids and lip balm, eyeglasses and case

Sunglasses too and a kit for repairs
With a tiny screwdriver and screws that are spares

Paired hearing aides with their power and tool
Six pens and a notebook for days spent in school

Date and address books, a stylish cell phone
And a huge leather wallet, a purse all its own

Full of photos and coupons, a few bucks in cash
Charge cards, IDs, and a free yoga pass

Digging deeper inside, there are items galore
I could likely keep going for two pages more

Or let mystery reign in the dark universe
Zippered away in the bowels of the purse

Just a thought: if you’re the type who enjoys psychoanalyzing folks
by looking at the items in their grocery cart, a Cinci Reds 2016 Season Pass could open up a whole new world for you!


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